In His Service

I pray my words will always reflect my love for & service to God.

04 January 2012

New Year, New Me?

I am allowing God to work in my life, little bits at a time. This is not a fun adventure, to be honest, there are days when I ask why bother? I'm not sure I want to be this vulnerable to the enemy's attacks, to be honest. I kind of liked coasting along, the ride was fairly smooth, the potholes not too bad. However, I feel as if something is missing and I yearn to fill that void with things of eternal value and so I continue on.
Yesterday, I felt the prayers of my fellow Iron Women of the Word in a mighty way. I had sent out an email early yesterday morning and asked for their prayers. While I was justified in the feelings I was feeling, at least from a human standpoint, I still wasn't feeling great about something that had happened on Monday evening. Yesterday, as I sat at the diningroom table working a jigsaw puzzle, I heard God speaking to me. Not an audible voice but inside my head. This has only happened to me a handful of times in the last 30+years of my walk with Him. I know it was the prayers of my fellow sisters that allowed me to hear Him. The term 'die to self' kept repeating itself over and over in my head. I realized I had the perfect opportunity to do just that on Monday evening and I failed. I could beat myself up relentlessly over this, I am really, really good at that but instead recognize that I am human, I am going to make mistakes and I must go on.

I am excited to see what God has in store for me next, even if a bit apprehensive because I know there is much I need to learn and let go of. As for the enemy, like the title of a teenage chick flick my daughters watched numerous times one year 'bring it on'! I've got the All Powerful in my corner and eternity with Him as my reward.